Robin Hornstein, Ph.D.

Getting Back to Writing

I find that I get excited and busy with lots of things in my life.  For instance, this blog.  I was determined to write a lot and let people know what I thought about.  Then my daughter had a Bat Mitzvah.  Suddenly all of my time on line had some connection to appetizers and take home gifts.  It was an amazing event but the build up took it's toll.  Meanwhile, I learned a lot recently about how we change in our lives.  I had procrastinated writing and suddenly Women's Day magazine called me (see June 2008, page 14).  Angela Ebron, a writer for the magazine that we all see in the checkout line in the market, called and told me she had read about Opposite Day in my blog and wanted to interview me.  Not only did I find that flattering and exciting, but it felt quite ironic as I hadn't written in forever.  So what is the take away here?  Do things you like and don't judge your timing.  Get back to things or wait until they call you back and lead you somewhere else.  I promise to write more often and to try to share what life lessons show up on my doorstep. 

Cold Play - Speed of Sound

A line in "Speed of Sound" is very inspirational.  Take a listen to the song if you have never heard it or read the line and meditate on it for a few moments.

"Climb up, up in the trees
Every chance that you get is a chance you seize".

When is the last time you climbed in a tree, really looked at the world from a new perspective? Saw the very issue driving you crazy from a distance so that it was smaller?  If not in a while, it is time to seize an opportunity today. Do what you have been putting off, tell someone you love them, take a walk and start that journey of physical strength, dance in your house to your favorite song, or like me, sing it while you walk without worrying what others think.  Inspiration is all around us, new chances, sparkling right there.  Breathe, dream, plan and climb your tree.

Opposite Day

It started simply enough, my daughter asked to have dessert first.  Thus began a family tradition of backwards dinners.  Simply stated - eat your sweets, then a main course and salad.  If you have room, add some soup at the end.  A few months later a client told me about opposite day: "go against most of your decisions, do the opposite and see what happens".  She told me this in the context of her eating disorder and  relationship issues and, to both of our surprises, it made one of those tiny changes that started a revolution in her life.

Since that time, I try to apply opposite day in many ways in my life and suggest it to clients as well.  I especially find it helps with my rather strange sense of direction which always points the natural opposite to the place I am headed.  It works with food, friends and lovers as well as work situations.  For instance, if you usually feel anger at someone who is always late, show compassion and see what happens.  Do you usually feel defensive with your mother?  Take her to lunch when you would normally pull away and see what can change.  If you trust yourself to use this in small ways that help you, go ahead, adopt the day as yours and write me if you find out anything about yourself. 

Parenting a Teen?

Michael Riera, Phd. is a wonderful author who has written books that are practical and useful when it comes to parenting a teen.  I highly recommend his books, especially Uncommon Sense for Parents with Teenagers. In this book he talks to parents as if they are people trying to keep a line of communication open with their sons and daughters and respects that teens are people with their own lives.  He understands how families can improve their connection and includes topics such as sex, drugs, and eating disorders in the chapters.  Amazon carries these books and they are well worth checking out. 

Acupuncture for Fertility

www.temstrategies.com

215-627-3782

Coping with Infertility

When you decide to add a child to your family it becomes an exciting adventure, that is until infertility joins the team.  At that point crisis and shock usually set in, sometimes along with blame and shame.  It is time to take a deep breath, assemble your support staff and make plans.  Breathing can calm us down in some remarkable ways which means yoga, meditation, biofeedback, deep counted breaths and exercise all count.  Deep counted breaths are as follows:  rest for four counts, breathe in for four counts, rest for four counts and breathe out for four counts.  Start again and see how long you can do this, and if you can add counts.  It is easy and can be accomplished anywhere.  Your support staff includes doctors, acupuncturists, therapists, friends, family, coworkers, and anyone else you trust.  The staff can be as small as you and your partner and a doctor or much bigger.  Choosing people that help, distract and ask questions is essential.  Finally you make a plan.  One you can always change, it includes your emotional, physical, spiritual and financial limits.  Trust your plan and stay with it as you go through the myriad of tests that you might need.  Words like IVF, Adoption, Selective Reduction and others begin to feel like second nature.  Expand and breathe with them as you decide on your family size and composition. 

Healthy Self and Disordered Eating Self - Let's Talk

Many people who struggle with disordered eating and body image issues recognize this thinking pattern:  I can't, won't, shouldn't, should not have eaten that .... and now I need to make up for it.  This is a prime moment for the healthy self that knows eating when hungry and fueling the body is important should step in.  Food is not the enemy here.  We all realize that when we battle it, and ourselves, we forget to think thoughts and challenge beliefs that we don't deserve our food.  Next time you eat something you want and then feel guilty you could try letting the healthier you ask some questions:  was I hungry, what would happen if I felt full instead of fat, can I let go of the need to "make-up" for the intake of this food?  Try dropping one of your trigger words for a day (for example: fat, bad, wrong, stupid) and substitute a kind word.  Eat when you are hungry and learn to let your healthy self recognize hunger.  If you can't, it may be time to consult a professional for some support. 

Who are we and where can you find us?

Hornstein, Platt and Associates is a woman run psychotherapy practice with 8 clinicians specializing in Eating Disorders, Infertility Issues, Children, Couples, Trauma, Anxiety, Depression, and General Issues related to well being.  We can be found at:

255 S. 17th Street, Suite 1405

Philadelphia, PA 19103

We accept most insurances. 

Mindfulness Eating

One way that one can learn to eat when hungry and stop when full, the hallmark of healthy eating, is to try a mindful eating exercise.  Take a small amount of a food that you would enjoy eating; this could be any type of food you like.  Sit with the food and observe for a few minutes.  Breathe deeply, feel the air in your lungs and become aware of your body in space.  Follow this, when ready, by picking up the food you have chosen.  Use your senses to really study it and become connected to this food.  Feel it, smell it, notice the colors and understand that this is a gift you are giving yourself.  When you are ready take a bite, notice where you feel it on your tongue, notice the smell and the sound of your eating.  Feel the sensation of swallowing.  Do this a few times until the food is gone or you feel satisfied.  Pay attention to your breath, the room you are in and how you feel.  Pay attention to the inner critic judging some part of what you have just done.  Quiet that voice by either letting it go by or calming it's fear with a reassurance.  Try this way of eating on a regular basis and let your feelings speak to you as you continue to participate in aware, in the moment, eating.