I often wonder why I have no problems with Facebook and, more importantly, why our youth deny the impact of exposing their lives on the web. Clients will ask me what I think of Facebook and I usually reply in the affirmative. In fact, I am reconnected with the a friend I had from ages six to seventeen when we had an explosion of our relationship and she ended the connection. Our newly budding friendship has grown as we have shared memories (including all of the letters she ever wrote me) and caught up on life. We both have one child, are in the psychology field and we have had many life tragedies that made us strong, bold women. Thanksgiving found me having lunch with an old boyfriend and his daughter in California, and again, I thank Facebook for the reconnection. So why are we so worried?
We say we are worried because our young people do not read. Well my daughter, a 16 year old, treasures Jhumpa Lahiri and believes that To Kill A Mockingbird was the best book ever written. So, I don't think we have lost all reading skills. And we say that kids reveal too much personal information. I can't fight this and a lot of what adolescents say is too graphic and if we, as adults, are "friends" with them and see what they are showing and telling, I think we can guide our kids to stop putting themselves in positions where they look provocative and sound older than they are. I hear others say that colleges will be looking for tagged pictures and denying admission. Do you mean the colleges have the time to read everyone's Facebook from 7th to 12th grade? Wow, no wonder it costs so much to pay for education if the schools are watching and not admitting a kid who drinks or admits they were high. Really? I suppose there are those of you who know how this works but I have been told the smart kids get fake Facebook names for admission time and 12th grade remains a time of goodbyes and some partying. Please don't take this as my approval for all "bad" behavior, I just am not sure the kids are doing anything worse than any other generation. But they are exposing it all, right?
Well, here is a Robin theory. What is the difference between choosing to blatantly be seen and knowing that you are growing up in a world of surveillance? The government can listen to calls, read emails, xray our bodies as we travel, take remote photos of our homes, read our blogs,etc. Big brother is watching. And my belief is that Facebook and other platforms utilized by this generation are a big middle finger to the watchers. How can we feel we have privacy in an unprivate world? We have only ourselves to blame for allowing our growing paranoia to make us justify watching ourselves and our kids. And I can only think that when one is observed retreat is but one response. Living out loud is another. Maybe Facebook and other web tools like blogged interactive journals are a response to a pretty anxiety provoking world. On this 30th anniversary of John Lennon's death, I can only wonder what the man who documented his marital bed in pictures would say about the state of our very observed society. Facebook is not the enemy of our mental health, loss of privacy may have the pleasure of that position.
